Local Sport 
Flourishing five-a-side team still seeking sponsorship
Ho Lo Scopato began their life in the infamous Broadclyst League Division 2 under the name Unisex Hair Salon, where in opening seasons they displayed skills as fluid and silky as their barnets. The flamboyant style of play however, was consistently entertaining but lacked focus, and the hunger to win often gave way to the desire to please. Many high scoring matches ensued, as the defence looked about as tight as a single mum at Rococo's. Consequently, a large gathering soon followed as did their points total, but promotion to the prestigious Division 1 remained just out of reach.
A bright start to the new season in 2003/4 was scuppered by scandal as a love triangle ensured a turbulent time for the team. The manager had become smitten by one of a growing number of Italian supporters, but she embarked on a fling with one of the strikers. Matters were brought to a head when the said striker was asked loudly by a team-mate if he "had shagged that Italian bird yet" within earshot of the manager. An awkward situation followed, as did a long, embarrassing silence. It all proved to be too much and the manager promptly departed under a cloud.
Following the departure, a new era dawned on the club bringing with it many changes. During this period of flux, squad rotation became increasingly prevalent with around 20 different players being drafted in over the course of the season to receive the honour of pulling on the famed black/blue/red kit (depending on the opposition's colours and what was clean).
In 2004/05 the team name was changed to 'The Bullets' to reflect the speed of their new attractive counter-attacking style – a strategy which laid the blueprint for tactics employed by Arsene Wenger at Arsenal with great success. It was in their last season under this team name that this celebrated side finally gained promotion to the First Division after a season of more ups and downs than Dolly Parton on a trampoline. Indeed for much of the season it looked like they would go up as champions, until their characteristic inconsistency caught up with them and fans were left chewing their nails right down to the knuckle. Since gaining promotion the side has gone through a difficult transitional stage, with certain key players leaving for the bright lights of Newton St. Cyres, and an on-going spat between the two front men resulting in only one of them appearing on the pitch at any time.
But some constants have remained at the club since those early, halcyon days. Players such as Lee 'The Corner Flag' Folland – known for his ability to spend almost an entire match in one corner of the pitch, James 'The Swede' O'Sullivan, a sharp footballing brain contained in a vegetable-shaped head, and dressed all in black the ever unbalanced goalkeeper who plays under the pseudonym 'The Coiled Snake' - a moniker not only earned due to his snake-like reflexes, but also his ability to appear completely legless. Other colourful characters have turned out for the team over the years, in particular Wayne Down who allegedly holds the record for the most sin-binnings in a season for dissent. Graham Poll was sent home for showing a player three yellow cards in a match, the Broadclyst ref seemed to make it his weekly mission.
One thing is for sure, life is never boring for the Ho Lo Scopato followers and the positive publicity they attract makes them an attractive opportunity for a company to align themselves with such a class outfit. Sponsorship offers of kit, money, merchandise or other should be emailed to this website and will then be forwarded onto through the proper channels.
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