Local Sport

Sport fraudster exposed

Since relocating to the Westcountry to escape the authorities, call centre monkey Liam Matthewson has been boring friends and colleagues alike with a string of tales of sporting prowess as long as his supposed trophy collection.

The talkative braggart from the South-East claims to have an illustrious sporting career behind him, which under scrutiny appears as flimsy as his now 'battle-scarred' physique (despite being still only aged in his 20s!).

The robust character first claimed that he was a Champion Boxer with a collection of trophies from tournament victories. It was later uncovered however, that these victories came from regional Dog shows, where his canine features won him Best of Breed in the Boxer category. Another tale enthusiastically retold is about a rugby injury which forced him to retire from the sport, despite the fact that Matthewson does not know any of the positions and does not bear any of the features associated with the sport such as a wonky nose or cauliflower ears.

It was later revealed that his 'rugby injury' occurred when he dropped a can of lager on his foot whilst watching the Six Nations on TV. Further infamous exploits include a golf handicap of only 3 (obtained through vigorous practise at some of the most challenging crazy golf courses in Southend) and large poker wagers on his personal Gold Card at the Spearmint Rhino – which later turned out to be fees to lap dancers. Matthewson also claimed he was a prolific football player and once had a trial at Liverpool. It later turned out he had been on trial in Liverpool.