Local Sport

Zimbabwean all-rounder joins Bradninch

18/04/07 - 0 comments

Zimbabwean cricket star Ryan Butterworth has signed for Devon side Bradninch in a surprising swoop. The transfer has caused raised eyebrows amongst many opposition sides, and Thisisntexeter can exclusively uncover the truth behind the circumstances of Butterworth's decision to move to the UK.

Sources in Zimbabwe have revealed that after a long hard season, Butterworth, a religious man grown tired of toiling away in the Zimbabwean leagues, had been praying for the opportunity to relocate. After many months with no response, his desperation to leave drove him to write a letter which he addressed to 'God, Zimbabwe', requesting a plane ticket to somewhere like Barbados where he could relax and utilise his cricket skills. However, when the postal authorities collected the post, they took one look at the envelope and immediately forwarded it to Robert Mugabe.

Mugabe, being flattered, opened it with interest and having read it decided he would not be prepared to issue a ticket for Barbados, but in his generosity would send a cheap all-in ticket to somewhere similar. He sent for his gang of shady black market dealers who managed to find a cheap all-in ticket to a place with a similar name – inexplicably - Bradninch. Mugabe sent this back with his signature, expecting a display of gratitude.

When Butterworth received the response, he dropped to his knees and prayed, "Thank you lord for your reply – however I notice that for some reason you sent it through the State House and as usual the crooks have stolen it, replaced it with a cheap alternative – and it's also been signed by the devil!"

Not wishing to seem ungrateful however, Butterworth still took advantage of the Bradninch ticket and is struggling to adjust to some cultural differences over here, such as finding his car where he parked it, his mail being received unopened and having to produce his driver's license instead of a fifty dollar note whenever stopped by the authorities.