Local Sport

Waddle penalty discovered near Stoke Woods

The dishevelled remains of what scientists believe to be the football used in the World Cup semi-final in 1990 has been discovered. The ball has been orbiting the Earth since that fateful evening when Chris Waddle stepped up to take a penalty in the shoot-out against Germany and blasted the ball out of the atmosphere.

NASA have inadvertently been tracking the ball for some time believing it to be an asteroid, and some amateur stargazers have mistaken it for Haley's Comet. Indeed the ball may have been the motivation behind such sh*te Hollywood blockbusters as 'Deep Impact'� and 'Armageddon'�.

When the ball was first spotted entering the Earth's atmosphere above Killerton, local residents grabbed their shotguns ready to give a warm Devonian welcome to any extra-terrestrial visitors. Scientists from the Home Office were quickly dispatched and the area has been cordoned off while further tests are carried out.