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Calamity Comes to Devon

20/08/06
Calamity has arrived in Devon in the form of ex England goalie David ‘Calamity’ James. The 36 year old has brought a ex-council house in the town of Chudleigh. James, who recently joined Portsmouth FC, celebrated his new purchase by keeping a clean sheet against an ‘Abysmal’ Blackburn Rovers side.

There is some debate amongst locals as to the footballer’s ability to integrate himself into ‘local life’. James has previously resided in far away places, such as Manchester, Liverpool and Birmingham. James was also part of Sven’s calamitous world cup squad which toured Germany this summer.

"We have a vacancy on the town council and we would welcome him if he wanted to apply but he may want to keep a low profile.” said Lorraine Evans, chairman of the town council. She then added "But we would be looking for him to do show openings which would make a change from us doing them." The apparent effort to send James running for the hills seems to have failed after he was spotted in the Highwayman's Haunt pub and Relish Sandwich Bar in Southernhay, Exeter.

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