Local Sport

Ferret racing scandal

A ferret racing meet at Ottery St. Mary was thrown into uproar after it emerged one of the competitors had more to it's past than meets the eye.

The final race of a prestigious evening's racing was to be the finale of the meet, with the best and fastest ferrets from around the area competing for the title of area champion. Yet strangely the race turned out to be a virtual walkover, as one particular furry creature won almost at a canter. The demolition of the rest of the field aroused much attention, not just from spectators but also drew closer inspection from the judges.

Under scrutiny the owner made a startling confession. It turned out that whilst the animal - like a ferret - is a member of the Mustelidae family, it does stretch the boundaries of the gene pool to almost breaking point. The owner revealed that he had been importing animals from all over the planet in order to produce the ultimate racing mustelid, and whilst he had succeeded in rearing a swift racer, it did look a bit odd. Using traditional breeding techniques (alcohol and darkness), he had bred a weasel with a mongoose (which actually comes from the Felidae family), and a North American wolverine with a whippet (the well-known northern dog). He then bred these two creations together to produce the 'Whipmoseline', a fearsome competitor but due to strict regulations utterly ineligible to compete in ferret-based competition.

The Whipmoseline did not seem to be too disappointed to be retired from racing and is now looking forward to being put out to stud.

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