Local Sport

Clay pigeon company facing bankruptcy

A Clay Pigeon shooting range near Budleigh Salterton is desperately attempting to balance its' books after a brief visit from a mysterious visitor ended in devastation.

An employee for Sitting Ducks Clay Pigeons Ltd described the mystery figure as a large, strapping mountain of a man with a foreign, monosyllabic accent. The appearance of this brute wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket immediately caused some apprehension, as did the shotgun he pulled out of a box of roses. However, it was when the gentleman who signed himself in as Mr T. Monator reached the shooting range and let fly with the most explosive example of marksmanship ever seen in the area that the real cause for concern began.

In the space of only a half an hour booking, Mr Monator managed to remorselessly gun down almost every clay pigeon in the company's stock reserve at a startling rate, rendering the company without targets until the next delivery in late November. Emergency shipments of alternative targets in the form of Frisbees, pet food bowls and tortoises are so far providing a poor substitute.

In an attempt to remain afloat until the date of the next delivery, the company have contacted a business strategy expert who came up with the idea that in order to preserve what few clay pigeons are left and make them last for as long as possible, group bookings for Dick Cheney and friends should be promoted.