Local Sport

City stay top as unjury list investigated

ECFC continued their good start to the season with a 2-0 victory over Crawley Town on Tuesday night. The win came at a cost however, as yet another player was added to the ever growing injury list which is starting to come under scrutiny...

The busy ECFC treatment room is starting to resemble A&E on a Saturday night, with Liam Sercombe joining the growing list of casualties which already includes Andy Taylor, Bertie Cozic, James Berry and Neil Saunders. Frankie Artus has also requested some medical supervision for a knock on the foot incurred during the victory.

Since the introduction of a female physio, the number of injuries requiring treatment has suspiciously multiplied, with groin strains making the biggest rise (oo-er). Club officials are becoming increasingly sceptical at the number of players lining up to receive treatment from the healing hands of Tasmin Clarke, who is rumoured to be releasing a nude calendar later this year.

In an attempt to test the validity of certain injuries and manage the increased demand, ECFC are set to sublet the preparation of future medicinal prescriptions to Doctors Fox, Crippen and Shipman.