Local News

Pikeys wallow in their own shitA major cleanup is underway in Exeter after a group of pikey twats managed to accumulate an unprecedented pile of filth. The pile is believed to consist almost entirely of human excrement and a damaged canoe.

Donkeys up to no goodThe Donkey Sanctuary, near Sidmouth, has been forced to upgrade it's security system after a number of burglaries in the area. Whilst no-one actually witnessed the donkeys breaking and entering, hoof prints have been found in soft earth outside many the crime scenes.

Street archery takes off in TivertonIn a bizarre turn of events the new sport of Street Archery has taken a firm grip of the country. It's inventor, a Tiverton man, thought it up whilst on a shopping trip with his girlfriend.

It's pissing down!After a long hot summer interspersed with the occasional shower it's suddenly started to piss down. Many people were caught in town at the time and had to take cover in the shops.

Bloody great fire in Marsh BartonPillars of smoke were seen rising from Marsh Barton this morning after a re-enactment of the Great Fire of London went out of control. The fire quickly spread to surrounding buildings before engulfing a local classic car garage.

Workers discover Roman holeWorkers on the new Princesshay development have uncovered a massive hole in the centre of Exeter. Historians say the hole originates from the late 2nd century and all work must be halted until more of the hole can be excavated.

X-Sheep under hammer3 cloned sheep, believed to have been created by legendary X-Man Professor Charles Xavier's brother Francois, went under auction today at Bearne's in Oakhampton Street, in an attempt to further fund his school for the gifted near Truro.

Plymouth tries to burn the skyIn what was thought to be an ancient druid ritual, the people of Plymouth attempted to set fire to the sky and bring on the apocalypse. Fortunately for the surrounding areas it simply resulted in a lot of bright light and some banging.