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Lay your hands on me

09/10/08 - 0 comments

Gullible women got more than they bargained for when they visited a Holistic healer who, they claim, rubbed their breasts and groins for his own satisfaction.

After going in for a neck problem and being told to lay on the couch in her underwear, one of the women told a court how Mr Hands, 69, from Ottery St Mary, told her she had very nice legs. He then continued to touch her breasts and make multiple movements around her groin and pubic area.

Another woman claims he had circled her nipples with his fingers as part of a lymphatic drainage process, and yet another woman who was dressed only in her bra and pants, said how Mr Hands had twice inserting fingers into her vagina.

The women all felt uncomfortable at the time, but all assumed it was part of the process and did not confront Mr Hands about his actions.

It seems to us that these women were being molested for the titillation and gratification of 'Holistic healer' Mr Hands, a position that needs no valid medical qualifications and therein lies the problem.

If you or I wanted to open a doctors surgery we would need to be highly trained, study at a qualified institution and be registered with the General Medical Council, to be a holistic healer you just need someone gullible enough to pay you.

We're not saying a nice massage isn't relaxing, it's just not going to cure cancer or help with a slipped disk (Okay, so it might actually help a slipped disk, but not if you approach it through the vagina).

If you went to the doctor with a headache and he(or she) stuck his thumb up your ass you'd probably ask them what the hell they were doing, unfortunately for these women there's no such expectation of logic in this mumbo jumbo world of holistic 'medicine'.

What doesn't help is that Professor Ernst, a professor of complementary and alternative medicine at Exeter University agreed that while performing 'lymphatic drainage', the therapist's hands may touch the breast and on occasion the therapist's hands may touch the the crease of the groin.

So next time you're groping a woman in a darkened nightclub, remember, you're doing her a favour and draining her lymph nodes.

What a load of old shit.

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