Local News 
Dentures to be banned for pensioners
Police officers were called to a flat after receiving reports of an 'abusive man' on the property.
When they arrived on the scene they noticed smoke coming from the property and forced their way in, like the reckless vandals that they are.
They discovered a startled 63-year-old man who picked up two knives to defend himself from the vicious thugs who broke down his door. He was swiftly dealt with however, as they subdued him with liberal amounts of CS spray and a swift thwack around the head with a well placed baton.
He did manage to inflict some damage to the officers as they beat him into submission (we're guessing the guy who keeps hold of the tazer was still in the car) as he managed to sink his teeth into one of the attending officers.
We're unclear as to why he resorted to biting the officers when he had two knives to hand, but it seems this new menace will soon be dealt with.
Chief Constable Stephen Otter said: "It's unacceptable that pensioners are walking around with these concealed weapons in their mouths."
As per usual, the Echo is now launching a campaign to get dentures off the street so old people cannot abuse their sharpened edges, and a new set of 'safety dentures' have been designed with no sharp edges whatsoever.
The new dentures are incapable of biting through anything, so this kind of crime should be reduced dramatically if they can get the proposal drafted into the commons. Apparently Ben Bradshaw turned up to show his support for the campaign, but he'll back anything to make himself look important and get his face on TV.
The arrested man, from Plymouth, was taken to Charles Cross police station for questioning and a damn good kicking.
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