Local News

Don't forget the steak

Men around the world are patting themselves on the back today after a orchestrating a successful valentines day last month, looking forward to tonight when they'll be greeted home with offerings of Steaks and blowjobs.

Yes, it's International Steak and Blowjob day today (or if you're single, International Pot-Noodle and a Wank day), the day when women can show their appreciation for all the hard work guys have to put in to making Valentines day go well.

We don't need cards, we don't need flowers, we don't need a posh meal somewhere nice, just cook us a steak and get to work on the luncheon meat.

You don't have to swallow, but it does show good form. Gargling is completely unnecessary.

More informaton