Local News

Too posh for pot

Exeter University students have again shown how posh they really are after tests have revealed widespread cocaine use throughout the campus.

Student newspaper Exposé took swaps for testing from buildings across the site and found indications of cocaine use in 11 premises, including the library and administration building.

Newspaper editor John Stevens, 20, said: "The university considers that there is not a problem with cocaine use". Apparently there's no problem getting it at all.

As everyone knows, there's a time and a place for drug use, and that's college, but most universities are happy to dabble in cannabis use, trust the students at Exeter to go one better.

Symptoms of Cocaine usage are hyperactivity, restlessness, and increased sexual interest although in a cruel twist of fate it can also cause impotence, hallucinations, and paranoid delusions. You want it, but everyone's out to get you and you can't get it up. Those wacky students.

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