Local News

My imaginary girlfriend did it

Retired solicitor Colin McKenzie was banned from driving and told to pay £1,064 after magistrates heard how he was chased through single track roads at speeds of up to 50 mph.

After ditching the police by turning into a mud track where the patrol car was unable to follow, he ditched his Jeep Cherokee and legged it through a field, a farmyard and into a small copse.

Unfortunately for McKenzie the cops found him cowering there with the help of a sniffer dog, which bit him as he tried to escape.

The dog in question was unfortunately put down two months later, after savaging his sergeant during a training exercise, and was therefore unavailable for identification at the trial.

McKenzie claimed he had walked home from the pub, claiming that a lady friends who he had known since 1987 and with whom he had an intimate relationship was driving.

"I cannot name her because she is a senior member of the constabulary and she is married. If she had been arrested, her career in the police would end if she was over the limit, which she may have been.

"It would have devastated her marriage. She would not have been able to explain what she was doing at my place at that time of the morning.

However, after watching a video of the five-minute pursuit Exeter magistrates threw out his excuse and indicated they did not believe the woman existed outside his imagination.

And we thought it was only lawyers who were lying scheming bastards.

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