Local News

Crime sort of pays

Official figures show that in the last year over if you committed an offence in Exeter you had a 50/50 chance of getting a ticking off and being sent on your way.

Records show that 927 people were cautioned, warned or reprimanded and 932 people prosecuted for offences. The best crimes to commit, and get away with were sexual offences, assault, fraud, forgery, drugs offences, monkey knife fights and criminal damage. Woo-hoo!

These figures come to light as the local plod are ramping up their forces to crack down on drink driving.

According to the Echo, David Tovey, who is coordinating the latest campaign, said: "There is a worrying trend, particularly among young drivers, to drink while over the prescribed limit (I assume they're drinking whilst under the limit too - Ed).

"Half of all road deaths in the 18 to 25 age group are as a direct result of drink-driving."

This means that the other half were caused by people who weren't drinking and had no good excuse for being reckless behind the wheel. The thoughtless bastards.

So if you feel like committing a crime, groom some teens in a chatroom, sell drugs and beat the living shit out of anyone you like, just don't have a pint with your lunch. That's unacceptable.

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