Local News

MySpace causes Cancer

Scientists at the University of Exeter have discovered that in some cases viewing mySpace profiles can triggers a reaction in some people's brains which lead to cancerous growths.

It's thought that the piss poor page layout is the main cause, the brain struggles to make sense of the information presented. If a profile has garish colours, a strange font or even flashing text it can cause malignant growths in the frontal cortex.

"We simply don't know how many people may have been affected." reported Dr Ben Parris, who's research covers disorders of language, reading, and writing, "The site has a global reach and users all over the world could be putting themselves at risk."

"The only solution is not to join social networking sites, and if you feel you really need to, then join a site like Facebook, where users are unable to change the layout and style."

News International, who own mySpace were unavailable for comment.