Local News

Offset your arsehole quota

Manners and respect for others seems to be a thing of the past these days as more and more people barge their way through the seething throng that is our fair city.

Bus stops and shops seem to be the best place to encounter Pedestrianus Arsolus as newcomers don't seem to understand the concept of queueing and waiting their turn. Is it too much to ask for a little common courtesy?

A new scheme set up by Sainsburys has been set up with this in mind. By connecting you with Jamie Oliver you can offset your Arsehole Footprint for mere pence a week.

The idea is simple, you can be polite and courteous all day long, safe in the knowledge that the mockney twat will be pissing people off across the country on your behalf.

Sainsburys say for every 100 people that join the scheme they'll punch an old lady in the face as well.

Talk about making life taste better.