Local News

Renegade squirrel executed

More than 11,000 homes in Exeter were left without power after a Terrorist Squirrel was put to death today. Osama Bin-Sparky - A 7th Generation grey squirrel originally from North America was tried and convicted under section 22 of the 2001 Anti-Terrorism act and for breaches of the Health and Safety act at Exeter crown Court several weeks ago.

The execution did not go entirely as planned though. The squirrel almost had the last laugh when a small quantity of explosive peanuts concealed in its cheeks detonated when the executioner flipped the switch. The resulting explosion interrupted power to homes and businesses throughout St Thomas and Marsh Barton.

Andrea Simmons, of St Thomas, said: "Our electricity was off for about 20 minutes. We were sitting watching TV when it blew".

Local businesses were left paralytic by the resulting power cut. Julia Devonport, a member of staff at Cheers off-licence in St Thomas, said: "It affected our business because we had no use of the till for about half-an-hour".

The grey squirrel was put to death at 14:50pm by local executioners Western Power. A spokesperson for Western Power said; "We want to apologise for any disruption caused but this was a truly dangerous animal and had to be dealt with" and "We restored power to 95 per cent of homes within half an hour by using alternative means".

Security consultants are said to be considering banning nuts of any kind from both short and long haul flights as a result.

Members of The Operation Against Squirrel Terrorism (T.O.A.S.T) have welcomed the execution saying "We hope this will send a message to all renegade squirrels out there that this sort of activity will not be tolerated". The members of TOAST were also quick to point out that "the methods used in the UK are much more humane than those used by the American Government". [1]

Bin-Sparky, 7, leaves behind 2 children, a wife and a £13,000 student loan.

Original story