Letters to the Editor
Early starter
Your correspondence has been rather limited of late. Is everyone ignoring you, or are all the letters arriving in your inbox unsuitable for publication?
Anyway, what's with this nonsense about not drinking until you are older than 15? Besides the fact that I thought the legal age for drinking was actually 18, drinking never did me any harm. I was on the Brainrot Cider at 8 and downing Buckfast and sherry martinis at the age of 11.
Have it.
Monk (age 14 and 1/2).
First of all, thanks for your letter. It does sometimes feel like nobody wants to write to me, my inbox is sitting unfashionably bare, but your letter was like the trickle of warmth running down your legs when you realise you've just pissed yourself.
The legal drinking age is an odd thing. To go and buy alcohol it's true you need to be 18, unless you're buying shandy, which you can buy from the age of 16, but to have an alcoholic drink bought for you to drink in a pub you only need to be 14 if someone buys it for you with a meal.
If you're at home then there is no legal age limit at all. You can guzzle as much a of the crazy juice as you want until you fall into a coma and die of alcohol poisoning, should you feel so inclined.
I'm with you on this. I was drinking at a fairly early age (probably about 10 or so, but I can't be certain) and was taught to drink responsibly. That didn't stop us going up the fields and drinking a bit of OD and MadDog when we were a little bit older. I have fond memories of vomiting in a friends tent after a night on the grog. I didn't do that again in a hurry.
If the government think that banning something is going to make the problem go away then they're obviously a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I can see these kids going out at 16 for their first taste of Vodka and getting absolutely shit-faced and ending up in an emergency ward getting their stomachs pumped.
As much as I hate to say it, maybe the French are right with this one. Drinking a glass of wine (we'll have a lager thanks) with your meals, not having alcohol as a social taboo, is far more likely to stop people being complete dicks the moment they can buy their first pint (although lets face it, if you go down to the quay you can get served from as young as 15).
I used to drink a bottle on Martini before heading out, then a few Vodkas at a pub on the way, before having whatever foul tasting crap was on offer at the Warehouse or Hothouse.
Ahhh, memories. I wish I had some.
- The Editor