Letters to the Editor

Where is everybody?

Does anybody live here? I'm an irregular visitor to Exeter and whilst visiting have often enjoyed the varied nightlife that it offers. So it was last Friday that my wingman and I were trawling the bars only to be surprised at the complete lack of people (as opposed to the normal problem of "lack of totty").

Was there something on last weekend that we were not to know about? Has the global credit crunch bitten hard; is transport too expensive; is beer too expensive (well, more so than normal); is town just a workhouse for expensive satellite dormer towns? Get out there folks and enjoy what's on offer - otherwise Exeter might just become......Swindon?

Disorientated Dave

I think you'll find the usual lack of totty is what has been causing the more recent lack of anyone at all, well apart from that slapper in the lycra bodysuit and inch of make-up that really should know better.

Exeter used to be a place where, once the sun started shining, the perky student breasts would start to emerge from their wintery hammocks to much cheering and applauding, but now it seems only the well insulated can be spotted out and about wearing tight little boob tubes that we really rather they wouldn't.

What happened to fit students out on the prowl? Were they scared of the loud bang, and daddy demanded they stay at home this term?

- The Editor