Letters to the Editor

Jeremy Kyle time

Dear Ed,

I was just reading that one in seven of us might not have the father they thought they had. D.N.A. research has shown that a lot of women are playing away and only now can it be tested for.

I am worried that the new government D.N.A. database will mean that the government will have the knowledge to be able to destroy nearly one in four families or 90% in Tiverton.

My particular worry is how I can be sure my kids have the mother they think they have,

yours
Sinbad McCaffrey

It's a sad state of affairs (no pun intended) that so many women are not satisfied with what they have at home and feel the need to have the occasional away game, but there are a few tell tale signs that you can use to find out if your children are really your own.

Is it the wrong colour?
You know when the Mrs told you it was quite common for a white couple to have a coloured child? Chances are it wasn't just Santa's knee she's been sitting on.

Is the child Ginger?
This one is a dead give-away, but chances are you've given it up for adoption already anyway, so no foul.

If you're from Tiverton things do get a little tricky. D.N.A. tests work by comparing the DNA of the child to that of the parents to look for matching sequences. Chances are you and your cousin share a fair amount of D.N.A. already, so it's going to be hard to tell for sure who's baby your sister is having.

In the end all you can do is check the child's got all eleven toes and love it as your own. Unless it's ginger.

- The Editor