World News

Olympic flame litIn a grand opening ceremony yesterday the Olympic flame was lit ready for the 2012 Olympics in London.

This is the good shitThe local sheriff's intelligence bureau in Collier County has released a bulletin warning of the latest new drug to hit the streets, which is easy to produce at home, called 'Jenkem'.

A Czechoslovacian werewolf in CardiffEarly on Monday morning the residents of Cathays, Cardiff were woken to the sound of a wolf howling at the moon, but this was no ordinary wolf, it was a Czech werewolf.

OMFG it's back!Firstly, let me apologise for using such an annoying on-line acronym but for gods sake, the Cadbury's Wispa is back on sale on UK shelves.

Rise of the machinesIt was only a matter of time before computers became sentient and decided that we were the biggest threat to this planet, so it comes as little surprise that the killing has already begun.

I fucking hate this shitty job!We'd all like to cut down on stress, and your job could be the most stressful thing in your life right now, but there's good news from the University of East Anglia. Swearing if fucking good for you.

Gran-boAva Estelle, 81 from Melbourne, Australia, is not your average granny. When she found out the horrific new that her 18-year-old grand-daughter had been raped she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons down and shot off their balls.

Australia 10 - England 12KYLIE MINOGUE, ROLF HARRIS, CROCODILE DUNDEE, JASON DONOVAN, SKIPPY THE BUSH KANGAROO, ARE YOU LISTENING? ARE YOU LISTENING SKIPPY - YOUR BOYS TOOK ONE HELL OF A BEATING