World News

Steve Irwin pisses off stingraySteve Irwin (44) has died whilst filming for a documentary near the Great Barrier Reef.

WoW is a threat to CanadaThe popular online computer game World of Warcraft has proven to be a terrorist meeting ground. An Al Qaeda member was discovered aboard a plane traveling from America to Canada.

Mutant rat on the looseA dangerous mutant rat has been spotted in London and it is feared it is training a gang of rebellious turtles in the sewers.

Tesco battles obesityThis week the supermarket chain Tesco have unveiled an plan to prevent obesity taking hold in this country. From this weekend, shoppers will not be able to buy more than 6 items from any of their chains nationwide.

It's all gone dark and I don't know what to do!Forget global warming, this is global darkening. For the past few weeks it has been getting darker much earlier in the day.

Tom and Jerry: Corrupting our childrenThe Hanna Barbera cartoon Tom and Jerry has been labelled a menace to society as the cartoon shows horrific violence towards animals.

Kentucky makes you fucking illReports have been coming in lately that over indulgence in Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) indeed does make you fucking ill. Local boy Jeremy Norman said "the chicken bits are massive" as he tucked into his second helping.

Delays at Exeter AirportThere have been delays at Exeter Airport recently due to recent security procations. Each passenger is permitted to carry one item of cabin baggage through the airport security search point and no liquids are allowed at all. Some passengers have resorted to other measures to get through the checkpoints quickly.