World News

School terror plot uncoveredA public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

Sex toys that killGreenpeace have discovered that many soft plastic sex toys contain high levels of toxic chemicals. Butt plugs and dildos are among those affected.

Petty officers hate gnomesDevon & Cornwall Police are threatening to arrest a gnome impersonating a police officer near Liskeard in Cornwall.

Cruize baby is a ringerAfter showing off their new baby Suri in this month's Vanity Fair, it's been revealed that Tom Cruize and Katy Holmes child (pictured) is actually a fake, imported from China.

Burberry factory closesA Burberry factory in Wales is due to close it's doors for the final time. The factory has been closed as it is no longer "commercially viable".

Steve Irwin pisses off stingraySteve Irwin (44) has died whilst filming for a documentary near the Great Barrier Reef.

WoW is a threat to CanadaThe popular online computer game World of Warcraft has proven to be a terrorist meeting ground. An Al Qaeda member was discovered aboard a plane traveling from America to Canada.

Mutant rat on the looseA dangerous mutant rat has been spotted in London and it is feared it is training a gang of rebellious turtles in the sewers.