World News 
The machine that doesn't go 'Ping!'
0 commentsHospitals are noisy places and when you've just come out of surgery it can be hard enough to get some sleep, but when someone's life support machine is making a racket it can be the last straw.
Fat racist bastard dies
0 commentsBernard Manning died today at the age of 76 in the North Manchester General Hospital, where doctors had been trying to treat a kidney problem.
American beauty
0 commentsCorvallis, Oregon - A 17 year old lad has been arrested on charges of burglary and sexual assault, of a horse.
Bound to make your eyes water
0 commentsIf ever you've wondered how well attached a pair of bollocks really are, ask Geoffery Jones from Liverpool. After an argument with a 24 year-old he had one of his chaps ripped off.
Iran to execute porn stars
0 commentsIranian MPs have successfully voted to pass a law which makes pornographic material illegal and to impose a death penalty for producers, who are 'corruptors of the world'.
No more hissy-fits for Hilton
0 commentsParis Hilton has decided to stop being a stuck up posh bitch. No, really...
War on cheese, war on the causes of cheese
0 commentsAs the Americans continue to spew out propaganda about how the continuing slaughter on both sides in Iraq and Afghanistan is all part of a 'humanitarian effort', terrorist groups all over the world were left kicking themselves at the weekend after missing out on the opportunity for a 'humanitarian bomb attack'.
Olympic waste
0 commentsThe Wolff Olins design agency were laughing their way to the bank after the London 2012 committee spent a gargantuan £400,000 on the new logo for the games.
