World News

Look at this twatKevin Craswell, 48, former company director, piss-head. This guy, easily mistaken for a tramp, cost the railways an estimated £8,000 as he lay sleeping on the rails.

School has massive cockupThe Yarm School in Stockton on Tees has been revieled to have the outline of a massive wang daubed onto the roof of it's building.

Indian men have tiny penisesAn Indian survey of more than 1000 men has shown that they do indeed have very tiny penises, and that standard condoms are simply too big.

Britney and Paris: lesbian loversParis Hilton and Britney Spears are lesbian lovers and have spent a couple nights drinking from each others furry cups.

Merry fucking ChristmasHarrods have sacked one of their 6 Santas for making inapropriate comments to customers.

B&Q have a very 'Hankey' ChristmasThe Stockport B&Q have suprised shoppers with their festive tunes by playing the South Park 'Christmas Classics' album, including the track entitled 'Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo'.

Teenagers attempt Darwin award entryTwo 16-year-old boys made a valiant attempt at entering this years Darwin awards after they stole a motorbike from Wolston before crashing it on the Coventry city outskirts.

Independant school saved by alcoholic monksThe only Catholic secondary school in Cornwall has been purchased by the pissed up monks of Buckfast Abbey.