World News 
Martians infect Peru with meteorite attack
0 commentsHundreds of people in Peru have needed medical treatment after a meteorite stuck the Earth, leaving a deep crater after impacting over the weekend near the town of Carancas in the Andes.
Shiver me timbers
0 commentsAvast me hearties, it be that time of year again when scurvy sons of dogs start talking like pirates, an' threatening to send ye all to Davey Jones locker as International Talk Like a Pirate Day is with us once again.
Paedophiles rejoice
0 commentsThe news that all kiddie-fiddlers has been waiting for has arrived, you can now buy yourself a nice nubile 13-year-old off the net, and best of all, it's legal!
Asalted battery
0 comments22-year-old Patrick Hamman from Iowa has been arrested for assaulting his father with a bag of Cheetos.
Spiderpig hoax revealed
0 commentsSocial networking is only as fallible as the people socialising on the network, this is the reason that so much crap ends up on the internet. Now, the Facebook group named "If 100,000 people join, my wife will let me name my second child Spiderpig" has been revealed as a hoax.
Recycle your rabbit
0 commentsIn what appears to be a world first, LoveHoney, the internet purveyor of masturbatory aids and sex toys, has set up an amnesty for old and tired vibrators.
Never did us any harm
0 commentsFirst, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and / or drank while they carried us. They took Aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for Diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured, lead-based, paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes we had no helmets; not to mention the risks we took when we went hitch-hiking.
Day of the dead... not!
0 commentsThe south-eastern European state of Romania seems to have had a rather moribund week as the dead seem to be popping up everywhere.
