World News

Ha-ha! You thought you were going to dieTeachers at Scale Elementary School in Murfreesboro, Tennessee had a good laugh at their students expense after telling a group of nearly 70 pupils that a gunman was on the loose and coming to get them.

Your country needs you!The Secret Intelligence Services are taking applications on their website, but are now emphasising it's family friendly roles.

Cunnilingus causes cancerScientists at the Johns Hopkins University in the US believe they have found a link between oral sex and throat cancer. Researchers said the human papilloma virus, which causes most cervical cancers, may also cause oral tumours.

Spoilt slut needs jailingSpoilt brat Paris Hilton is trying to avoid jail time by petitioning Arnie using an online petition site.

Pissing in the windBulgarian train drivers have had their seats upgraded so they can urinate out of the window without having to get up from the controls.

Sky high profitsI've never understood the logic behind paying for British Sky Broadcasting. Other than the movie channels, there is really very little on, yet somehow Sky manages to get an average of over £400 from each and every subscriber.

Brain scan inconclusiveDoctors have been examining MRI scans of Peter Andre's head for days now but are still unable to find his brain.

Aussies say 'No' to SnoopIt comes to something when a country of thieves and con-men don't want you visiting, but Australia have joined the growing list of those saying 'No thanks' to Calvin Broadus.