World News

Asalted battery22-year-old Patrick Hamman from Iowa has been arrested for assaulting his father with a bag of Cheetos.

Spiderpig hoax revealedSocial networking is only as fallible as the people socialising on the network, this is the reason that so much crap ends up on the internet. Now, the Facebook group named "If 100,000 people join, my wife will let me name my second child Spiderpig" has been revealed as a hoax.

Recycle your rabbitIn what appears to be a world first, LoveHoney, the internet purveyor of masturbatory aids and sex toys, has set up an amnesty for old and tired vibrators.

Never did us any harmFirst, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and / or drank while they carried us. They took Aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for Diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright coloured, lead-based, paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes we had no helmets; not to mention the risks we took when we went hitch-hiking.

Day of the dead... not!The south-eastern European state of Romania seems to have had a rather moribund week as the dead seem to be popping up everywhere.

World's press have sense of humour failureChav Hunting has long been a recognised pasttime, but now a group of public schoolboys have made a documentary video of their efforts to keep the population down the media have gone mental.

Drunk driving lesson30 year-old Victoria Hosner was taking her first driving lesson at her home in America when police pulled up and arrested her fro driving under the influence of alcohol.

Crayon successfully removed from brainTo many people having any kind of writing implement embedded in their brain would be quite an impediment, but a few people can carry out a normal life with pencils and crayons buried in their soft grey matter.