World News

Judgement day cometh

Skynet 5, the most advanced computer system known to man was launched into orbit yesterday despite an attempt to sabotage the first attempt.

A waitress was arrested after breaching the launch site with her son John and a third man who escaped custody.

The spacecraft is part of a £3.2bn system that will deliver secure, high-bandwidth communications for UK and allied forces whilst an intelligence chip will monitor other communications, feed intel to our forces overseas and make strategic decisions.

Apparently Ms. Connor was babbling incoherently about the satellite developing self awareness and destroying the world, but she was soon subdued and relocated to a mental institute in Pescadero, California for further treatment.

Miles Dyson, the lead programmer of the satellite was there for the launch: "We've already received telemetry from it. In fact, we had a ground station see it just 10 minutes after separation. We've even sent commands to Skynet. It's behaving itself perfectly,"

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