World News

Madonna wants a brown baby

Human rights representatives have said that it would be unlawfull for Madonna to adopt a child from Malawi as she's a raving fruitcake.

"It would be unfair to expose the child to this kind of celebrity lifestyle" said the Human Rights Consultative Committee, "having seen Madonna's films we would rather the child was adopted by someone with some tallent, like the Hoff".

Lord only knows what Madonna would call the little fella. 'David' seems a little tame by her standards, so she'd probably call him 'Patio' or 'Lampshade' or something equally daft.

It is reported she has pledged to donate about $3m (£1.6m) to help orphans in Malawi, althought whether this is dependant on her adoption going through is still unclear.

Original story