World News

New ideas on imigration

With all the immigration, legal and illegal, going on in this country we do seem to be loosing our sense of national identity, or at least Morrissey seems to think so.

In an interview with NME he says: "England is a memory now. The gates are flooded and anybody can have access to England and join in."

German markets, Polish builders, Mosques on every street corner... But a solution seems to have presented itself in the form of a new plan to relocate England itself.

The "Country-Swap" plan is set to go ahead after the 2012 Olympics, but trials are already under way with Geordies being shipped out to Poland to start the building of the new world.

Whilst we have nothing against our European cousins, and indeed out global ones too, wanting to find a better life this little island is no longer the bastion of Britishness it once was.

As part of the new deal, all people born in England before 1998 will automatically qualify for relocation status, with those born after having their cases reviewed on an individual basis.

Paul Brannan, 43, from Newcastle said: "Life in Britain is very expensive, whereas here you can settle down very comfortably on a bus driver's wage."

"You can choose your job - the local bus service here snapped me up without an interview - they saw my application and called me straight away."

He is living in the mountain town of Zywiec - known for its beer of the same name - and has plenty of time for skiing and snow boarding.

"Any one who sells a shoebox flat in the UK can afford a big house with a garden here. And once you move in, there are so many little things that make life better - no junk mail on the doorstep every morning for starters."

So that's the plan, sell up and start again. Together we can make Poland great.

Original story