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Angels banned from primary school

The Sacred Heart RC Primary in Paignton has banned children from wearing angel wings in their Christmas nativity play this year after fears that they might spontaneously burst into flames.

Headmistress Linda Mitchell said the school made the decision after a "risk assessment", although a Christian school being afraid their creator will incinerate their young for celebrating the birth of her only child upon this Earth shows a disturbing lack of faith.

Mrs Mitchell said that in last year's nativity play pupils "suffered scratches from the wings [..] made from cardboard and flammable material". Teachers have now agreed that was not sensible to have angels with wings.

Call me untraditional, but wouldn't it be safer to remove the candles from the equation? You can't set fire to the baby Jesus if you're holding an electric candle, no matter how hard you try.

As they say in Paignton, 'Everyone is Scared'. Or should that be Sacred? I always get those two mixed up...

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