World News

Grapefruit's gonna get you

You thought you could avoid a painful death by eating healthily, didn't you? Well, after the news that sausages are the silent killer, another survey has found that eating grapefruit every day could contribute towards breast cancer.

University researchers in Southern California found that women who ate over a quarter of a grapefruit or more every day were at a greater risk than those who shyed away from the fruit altogether.

The study of 50,000 post-menopausal women resulted in most of the researchers being screamed at and having things thrown at them.

One of the respondents, who wishes to remain anonymous said "You think I look fat, don't you? You men are all alike. You chauvinistic bastards! I'm going to live with my sister."

So now you can't eat healthily for fear of dropping dead, and you can't have a fry up, sitting in that darkened room slowly starving to death is starting to look like a much more appealing way to go.

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