Agony Aunt

Pulling power

Dear Lilu

Dearest ample auntie,

Well the desert is upon me again - how do I avoid these peaks and troughs in pulling performance! Its been almost a week now. I may have to resort to the internet again - which brings me to my point. Whilst my hand may be reliable do I run the risk of blindness and loss of sanity?

Yours expectantly,
Tom

Dearest Tom,

You won't believe the amount of people whine to me about this. If you cannot pull then you must be doing something wrong. Do you use corny chat up lines? Or is it your terrible dancing? You may have to change your whole attitude towards pulling if this is the case.

Your obviously doing something wrong if it's been a week - good god man I'm surprised your not on the internet already looking for someone who is willing to bare all on a webcam.

I know that your hand isn't the same as a woman's fufe, but it works. Isn't the goal just to shoot your load? Get it out of your system? The blindness will set in eventually, depends on how much you wank. The loss of sanity is nothing more than desperation - it is very important you don't confuse the two.

My suggestion to you is, either change your "pulling techniques" or forever continue wanking. I'm sure you can find some sort of mobile plastic pussy that you can shove it into, there are plenty of sites on the internet that you can order them from.

If not that then how about a blow up doll? They make them very life like nowadays, with an open mouth and everything. That way you won't get repetitive strain injury by using your hand all the time.

But for the immediate future - happy wanking!!

- Lilu