Agony Aunt

Fit for a queen

Dear Lilu

I wonder if you can me give some advice. Many years ago after an intake of cider (half and half) I had an urge to have a tattoo. I decided to have the words 'Fit for a Queen!' engraved on my private parts.

Being recently widowed I am now in the market for a new missus and I am told that 'Fit for a Queen!' might be misunderstood by young ladies nowadays. What should I do?

Yours, S. McCaffrey. Crediton.

Dear S McCaffrey,

Of course I can give you some advice, just give me a minute to stop laughing.

Why on Gods green earth would you have that tattoed on your private parts?
Firstly the pain must have been unbearable, Secondly you must think an awful lot of your "manhood" to have that written on it.

Actually scrap the latter one all men think a lot of their manhood.

There are however a few options that you can try:

1. Never show it to anyone, ever again - for fear of laughter,
2. Have it removed via laser - ooohhhh much more pain,
3. Or you could visit the "Queens" Voults in Exeter.

I'm more than certain you would get a huge amount of attention from the men in Vaults, because lets face it, any woman that you show that to is just not going to be able to stop laughing. Seriously, I'm having trouble keeping a straight face and I havent even seen it!!!!!

P.S. Your a lightweight (half a cider indeed).

Hope this helps somewhat, if not then I hope you and your hand are very happy together.

- Lilu