Agony Aunt
The Santa clause
Contrary to common belief there are in fact many Santas and this one has a problem. In recent months I've let things slide, putting on a 4 or 5 unwanted stone in the last 6 months – this I fear is going to have a catastrophic effect on my delivery rate!!
Can you suggest for me a desperate stakes, no holds barred yo-yo diet technique that will see me as slim as Tiverton Jim in 20 days?
If I don’t get things in order the lads a going to give a right hard time at the depot.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I am sorry to hear that you may not be able to get to do all your rounds this Christmas, due to your ever growing belly. I always thought that Santa should have a big tum on him, after all we were all brought up to believe that Santa was always fat from eating too many Mince Pies.
I think maybe the best course of action for this year is too cut out some of the fatty foods you eat, go for a run once a day and eat more fruit and veg. If that is all too much effort for you, then you can try Laxatives. The only thing I will warn you about when taking these is that you have to be within the vicinity of a toilet, so if you do decide to take them, then please make sure you ease off them about a week before Christmas Eve, as we wouldn't want all those lovely little children to have any extra little presents in their stockings now would we?
May I also remind you to that if you wish to keep the weight off then don't eat all the pies this year....
- Lilu
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